I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
