The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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