if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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