I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
