I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Its about making memories worth repressing
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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