i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
