I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
where are my eyebrows?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
