we have pet lesbian snakes
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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