Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
