It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
