You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
