If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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