Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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