Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
