How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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