Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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