You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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