Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
