So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
