guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
