Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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