Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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