Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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