Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
