you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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