ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
