He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
