Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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