Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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