Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
