I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
