Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
