halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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