I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
