there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
