stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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