He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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