It's Friday. Sex?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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