using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
