Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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