so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
