Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm at about main and main street
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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