who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
