My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
should my penis look like a turkey
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
