well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
