I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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