It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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