i think i scared a bird with my dick
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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