I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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