your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
