Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
