Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
